


Aftermath

by glassofchampagne



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Mind Games, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 08:22:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8364940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassofchampagne/pseuds/glassofchampagne
Summary: This is after a time where Loki comes back to Clint, has some fun and leaves the archer to his thoughts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based off an RP with my amazing boy. This is dedicated to him <3 I take no credit for the Loki parts in this, it is all him and his amazing portrayal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He slowly brought his hands up, noting the faint red marks from ropes crossing over his wrists and forearms, all more confirming the actual thing had happened. He shivered, letting a hand swipe over his face, closing his eyes as he groaned. _What the fuck did he just do?_

~*~*~

Clint showered shortly after regaining movement, scrubbing himself clean to the point of nearly breaking the skin. _What the fuck did he do?_ As much as he washed, he could not get rid of the red marks lining his arms and wrists, could not wash away the memory of what had happened. They were there and not going away, a constant reminder that he had done _something_ and that something was with _Loki._ How could he have done that? Leaning against the shower wall, he closed his eyes, trying his best to blank it out.

But he couldn’t.

The feeling of Loki’s hand on his nape, the smell of the demigod, how utterly gone Clint was to the touch and commands…

“Fuck.” He felt himself hardening at the memory.

 _No. I won’t let this happen._ Loki killed Phil. Loki mind controlled him, made him attack Natasha. Hell, he was sure if it came down to it, he would have killed her. **Loki killed Phil.** That was the biggest factor weighing in Barton’s mind at the moment.

**_Phil. His Phil. His._ **

How could he do that to him? How could he betray his ~~lover~~ …handler so much so by nearly sleeping with the very monster that killed him?

_But it felt so **good.**_

He had to stop thinking about it, had to get it out of his head, whatever _it_ was. _"That's it, little Hawk..."_  Clint shivered again. _"Will you come for me~?"_   He closed his eyes, his hand moving slowly down his stomach, teasing across his now hard cock. _Those hands, that mouth, tongue, teeth, everything **Loki.**  "Mm, think on it, will you?” _And fuck if Barton didn’t come again, in the shower, a breathless name leaving his lips.

“ _Loki._ ”

What was it he was supposed to think on? Was Loki asking him for more? Because that was never going to happen. Nope. Not at all. Ever. Even if Barton had just had another orgasm, the reason for his arousal being said demigod. Nope, it was not going to happen.

_But what if it did? What could it hurt?_

His inner thought made him gasp, nearly chocking as he realized what he was considering. Cleaning himself off yet again, he turned off the water, grabbed a towel and stepped out. He didn’t dare look in the mirror; he knew what he looked like. Prominent dark circles surrounding those beryl eyes, face flushed from the heat of his shower and the thoughts of…

“Stop… Just... Stop.” He said to himself, leaning against the sink.

_Why? What would be the big deal to take for once? No one’s ever shown you more attention than Loki has since Trickshot._

He hated his thoughts, the inner darkness he had spent all those years silencing, that **_Phil_** helped silence, now alive and clear. Stepping into his dorm, he dropped the towel and changed into his sweat pants, collapsing onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. He couldn’t help but take another look at his arms; the now fading red marks turning pinkish, some darkening a slightly purplish colour where he knew he’d bruise. Marked. He was glad they were fading, though a part of him (a part he was confused as hell about) was almost sad. His hand subconsciously moved to his neck, his fingers tracing over the feint memory of where Loki’s mouth had been and he wondered if there would be a mark there too. Not that he could stomach moving to check right now, no, right now he needed to forget.

_Forget what? How good you felt? How amazing it was to **let go** for once? You’re better off under control. Trickshot knew it, Phil knew it, and Loki **knows** it. _

A single tear fell from his eye as he closed them. Everything his mind was saying was true. From the moment Barney and he had made their way to the circus, he knew he’d never be the one in charge. Ever. He was an order taker, never an order giver. A fact that was drilled into him numerous times from his childhood. He’d never be good enough for anyone.

_You’re good enough for Loki. He came back for **you.**_

Now that thought made him stop, his eyes dancing across the blank ceiling as he thought more. Loki, from the very start treated him differently. Even under his control, Loki never forced him, never treated him less than a man. Obviously, he was a slave, but…. _“You have heart.”_ No one had ever said that to him before. No one had ever recognized his true feelings. Sure, Barton was a crook, a criminal before S.H.I.E.L.D, but he always felt bad. He hated the life he was forced into, hated his father for forcing him into it, hated Barney for turning so quickly into the monster he was now.

_Even Loki has treated you better than family. What does that say about him?_

Clint felt something stirring in him, something that was slowly making sense. His mind was right; Loki was **_nothing_** like Barney, like Trickshot, like his father.

“Don’ mean he’s a saint.”

He said out loud again, as if he was speaking to someone in the room with him. God, he wished Phil were still around. He’d go to him, ask him for help, and fuck, Phil always knew what to say. Always knew how to make it right. Always knew how to make **Clint** right. Loki took that away from him. Loki took the second person he had to live for from him.

_And he’s giving you something to live for in return._

Was that it? Was that what Loki had wanted him to think on? To join him again? Could he do it? Leave everything and everyone he had here? Nat, Steve, Bruce, hell, even Tony?

_For Loki, you could._

“SHUT. UP!” He shouted, the palms of his hands soon crashing down on his eyes, willing his thoughts away.

**_He wants you. You could gain his trust, kill him when he least expects it._ **

Well, that was a new one. Where had this voice been this entire time? The idea was tempting though; Gain Loki’s trust, get his guard down and do what he did best; Snipe him out of this universe. Of course, there was the whole ‘being a god thing.’ Clint couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t kill Loki even if he tried.

_Because you don’t want too._

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed loudly, only to swallow as he caught the marks yet again. Rolling over to his side, he grabbed the blanket and pulled it around him. “What the fuck did I do?... What the fuck **_do_** I do?” For the first time in a long time, Clint Francis Barton had no idea how to get out of trouble, especially when part of him didn’t want to get out of it. On one hand, if he gave up and gave into Loki, he’d be letting everyone down. He’d be hurting those who he swore vengeance with. For Phil. **But,** if he gave in, he’d... Well, he had no idea what he’d have. Safety? Security? What was it that Loki was even offering him? The thought was giving him a headache.

Closing his eyes, he finally willed silence to take over, calming his breath to help him sleep before he finally succumbed. Just as he fell into his slumber, he heard one more voice and he fell into a comforting deep sleep.

_"Your mind swims, little hawk. It tries to stay afloat... **reach for me**. There is no shame~."_

_What the fuck did he do?_


End file.
